Wednesday, March 01, 2006
i felt disgusted....thanks to those ppl.
12:51 AM Back to top
Monday, February 27, 2006
i walked a long journey.
seeking for my dear father..my dear lord.
im tired.
tired...of lying to my parents.
tired...of putting on a fake front.
tired...of hiding my face behind a cheerful mask
tad makes me feel no difference being a reatarded puppet.
everything seems so intmidating
pulling my soul and physical body down.
i seeked for comfort and i seek for god's love.
im spiritually hungry.
the journey seemed easy at first
but i soon realised it's real hard.
when i can ever reach a point of tym
tad i need no longer lie??
tad i can do whatever i want
being so true and frank towards them
or maybe....
before the day i can reach my ideal heaven
i've already drop down dead and breathless
or perhaps ill break down and stop my pursue for god's love
i know he wont give up on me
cause im his precious child
but when tad day comes i jus got to go on my knees and say
i'm sorry...my dear father
tad i've been too tired to continue this journey.
i hate the feeling of betrayal
and i guess my dad hates it too
he hates ppl who starts lying
i can already forsee wad he'll do if he knows the truth
but even if the secret is forever kept a secret
the sense of guilt in me
no one will be able to see.
i dun like the feeling of being remorseful...
and regreting wad i've done.
i know i did a right choice to start wid
but i dunno when this will really end
or even whether it has really started for me
life is ever so intimidating
and problems never ever seem to stop coming to me
i hate this kind of situation or season im in
and i dunno how long can i tolerate.
wid every now and then scoldings and rubbish i get frm ppl
and tears washing my face for almost every b.s.
i hate my indecisiveness.
and i hate lying to them
when will my heart stop pumping?
so tad i can see, hear, smell nothing frm this ugly world....
i realised human beings are nothing but ironic pieces of rotting flesh.
3:24 PM Back to top
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