hahaz i didnt even noe why i fainted in the 1st place
okie gotta take care of myself
tad tym high fever now lidat again
hahaz im a super let-ppl-worry person
[nice word eh?]
okie im not sound today
mayb tad high fever made me unsound
and the fainting makes me more unsound
or maybe im born with it
lolz.

i dun wanna care if she thinks its an act or wadeva le
suit herself.
hahz
okie pia-ing work time



wad if i faint and die tad day;
wad if ruixian's and peiting's shouts nvr woke me up?
and wad if i set myself into the sleeping mode
and decides never to wake up again


then i'll not be here to face this darn reality






something is wrong wid me. =/
i fainted.

went to vch today to watch tkgs
and nakamura takaun girls high skul perform
tkgs started 1st...
was thinking they quite gd sia
budden...when the japanese band came on stage
everyone's mouths starting opening so wide
amazed my their skills and tone and everything i shld say
their performance was brilliant.
and i realised they can all sing man!!!!
they sang their sch song???maybe
i dun understand oso
but overall the concert was very gd

wells im late again
cuz i messaged rui xian asking her when to meet
and this wu gui took so long to reply
in the end i 4.10 den leave home
when i suppose to reach city hall at 4.15???
starting frm my hse
i ran all the way to the mrt station
but guess wad when i reached there
the train jus left
meaning i ran 4 nth
and gotta wait another 6mins fro next 1
frm dhouby ghaut,
i ran again all the way to the red line
ppl tot i siao
buden jus reach there den the train arrive
heng sia!
wells then the whole section was walking at extremely fast speed
to vch
and smart rui xian kinda bring us go the longer way
reached teher finally
lucky nvr late
and the concert starts at 5.30
delayed.
zzzz...so we ran for nth
fools.

ah wells afta concert went for section dinner
BOSS AND ASST BOSS was acting as couples
den i told the whole section
den some one said i was the dian teng pao
o wells sry i didnt ask 4 your 'beautiful comments'
okie den peiting and wenn went to look at the rock band there performing
i was behind them
den sum1 stepped my slipper again
and this time the thing came off
actually while rushing ya ju stepped on it 1st
but the other time it didnt came out
cuz i think was lighter ba
this time the 'big foot' stepped n my slippers
it was not mine
it jus came off
and tad person dun even felt guilty or sumthign
thanks wenn and peiting for helping me fix back
tad person knowing i wasnt happy and giving tad face again
she gave the exactly bad face at me
i was like...diao
its ur fault and now wads ur problem

hmmm...finally settled down
then went to buy food
me and lily went to queue for the hokkien mee
den lily brought back the food
and me go buy drinks
den rui xian joined in
she helped the others buy food
suddenly i felt myself shaking
my legs trembling and im sweating
i was keep telling rui xian i gonna faint
i gonna faint.
den i was leaning on her shoulders
ruixian went to gib sumthign to pt
at the hokkien mee jus beside the drinks stall
den i was standing there alone
i looked at the lamp post and the surroundings
suddenly the lamp post and everything became so blurr
and my ears could hear nth but the wong wong sound
i didnt even knew rui xian came back to hold me
cuz i already blackout
it seems like a dream or sumthing
wid everythign black when i fell unconscious
but den i heard sum1 calling me
den i woke up quickly
looking at every1 surrounding me
realising i was lying straight on the grd b4 the drinks stall
like so malu-istic
then peiting held me to the seat there
everything was still so blurr
i put my head on the table and slowly recover
den i realised got ppl scream when i fell down on the floor
and my lips were super white
and rui xian was holding me
and i lied on sum1's shoulder while falling onto the floor
somthing just isnt right wid me
i jus suddenly blackout and fell
zzzz
i got eat leh but is jus a little lesser den usual

i didnt cared abt the surroundings jus rested my head on table
sub conscious i heard shang yu saying sumthign abt her parents and her
i didt knew wad was it
cuz i jus knew i was super dizzy
lily gave me milo which shu ying had brought
thanks shuying anyway
den i slowly lifted my head
and peiting bought me mee time mak
and she ate my hokkien mee
hahaz cuz i canot eat
den i realised 'she' was saying
everytime her parents never eat
and she was saying she really fainted right smack on the grd meh
pt was irritated by wad she siad and told wen
i was thinking when wen to me
shes implying tad shes fat
cuz got extra storage of food can burn even if nvr eat
sry im mean
buden under such situation
she still can make such 'nice' remarks
i got no energy to say anything le
wen was not happy and she finally said
sum very bad remarks to her in front of every1
she nvr pointed her out
but was obviously to her
haiz.
i was really thinking if my eight characters is clashing wid hers


i dunno if i can really believe you for everything you do in the future
cuz everything u did seems to hab a motive behind
sorry. but i no longer hav confidence in u






iceskatingwasFUNN!!!

but wells....
maybe u hab the password to here
sumhow u get it frm sum1
lolz.
but i still gonna say
i hate ur attitude and behaviour today!
supposed to be a happy day
i didnt did much action today
cuz if i did every1 will see
i've been tolerating
o wells wad to do
bitch!!

wad exactly happened?
wells...today was section outing
as all noe and we went ice skating
i was so veri the irritated by her.
1stly....i didnt do anithing to her
normally those close to me wan
den i'll poke them tease them and press them on shoulders
but wells stop acting close to me
when ur not
ur making me feel so disgusted
frm the start when we started skating
the first thing she did is to touch my waist
and kinda pinch my fats
ok tad sounds so disgusting but tads wad she did
ah wells im not lesbian
and even if i m my ideal partner wun be u
TADS CONFIRMED.
okie i tolerated.
i tot it was nth
i realli dunno if shes straight or not
simply madness

okie den ard like 3+ when we skate like halfway le
i was pulling ruixian and doing the three person holding de
den wells she came again and this tym held my waist
and hugged it so hard tad i kinda cldnt breathe
hug until like the hands still closed sum more
alright bitch! i was really disgusted!!!!
maybe ur not on purpose or maybe it is?
eeeks i dun wanna think further
ok den it was like the surrounding ppl started looking
the moment her hands were on my waist!!!!!
wadeva!!!tad sounded so horrible
i guess i gotta hab nightmares man
den when ppl started looking i quickly pulled her hands away
saying pls la i not les.
okie i was disgusted!
im not trying to be mean
but dun try to act so close to me can
i felt so eww
and even my unsounds.
[lolz this sounds weird]
i only poke them
and not to the extend of touching and hugging
o wells!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i got a disgusting day
thanks to u


the sky became grey.
and the rainbow tad was once so colourful and bright
faints away.
and never appeared in my life again






iHATEthischristmas!!!!!
sorry to all ppl who celebrated today
supposed to be a happy, joyful 1
but it turned out to be another day
full of crap 4 me

and most of all
the day was spoiled by
the devil of my life.
dad.
hes supposedly shld be my dearest kin
supposedly.

wells no christmas party.
nothing.
AS USUAL i mus say
and of cuz no going to church.
JUS A MORON
fine. stay at home
but wells tad mad cow disease guy
suddenli wanted to go chinatown
mum too
ok as usual i was dragged along
sis went out wid bf
im the suay 1 left
okie going out wid dad was a wrong choice
i bought a pants and a shorts
he was asking if the pants was hipster
[to this bastard even we wear hipster osos canot]
ok then my shorts
he said it was too short?????
wells it was the length of my skirt
going out wid this bastard was a nightmare

wanted to hav dinner wid sis they all at sizzler
call her using tad arse phone
when i callin sis tad bastard gib me a bo cham look
was like dunno where to go makan
den he gib tad face again
wads his ass problem
then ended in maxell hawker instead
thanks to sis and mum
its left wid dad.mum.me to eat at hawker
he drove to the car park
and as usual the carpark was freakin small
decided to stay there and wait 4 ppl to get off
den finalli got this car lot
budden the late comer which is another red toy car
came fighting 4 tad lot wid my dad
wells hes courting death
dad horned him
and we went in
cuz we were there so much earlier than him
wells. tad driver was another stubborn idiot
dad parked in den he gu yi reverse back
jus in front of my dad's car
budden we got off le
wells hes wid his gf abt his twenties
den dad was like saying scared he do sumthing to his car
call me note his no.
i went den
budden of cuz canot go in front to his car
and key in to fone rite
so i hid behind a car and note
den guess wad
tad bastard shouted at me from his car
shouted.
wad wrong do i hab?
freaking bastard
he shouted until a passer by came and kp
wells got back to his car
he asked me wheres his fone
bloody ass i rmbed gibing his fone back
and he was still using in his car to tok
den he gib me tad kinda tone and attitude tad i lost his fone
i was explaining tad i gave him le
den he shouted at me again
say call his fone la
wid tad tone as usual
i was on the verge of bursting again
wells.guess wad he found his fone in his door pocket
he was driving while toking on fone
den jus slotted it in
so wad the fuck is this?!
im getting these freaking stuffs cuz of his own carelessness?
so im wad?jus sum1 he can shout at at his pleasure?!
okie went in wid tad darn black face
didnt tok to him at all
i was walking in front to the hawker centre
mum was liek sayin let him be hes mad again
dun care so much abt him
he probably knew i was angry

sat down
nightmare again
went to order sugar cane
den the boss was saying got 1.50 and 1 dollar de
wad i wan
asked mum den she said 1.50
den got back
he threw his coins out
saying too heavy
den i said 3 dollars
den he say where got write 3 dollars
almost shouting again
i said 2 cups 1.50 each
den he say there write $1 each
i replied him using the wadeva tone
there got 1 and 1.50 de mummy say buy 1.50 de
den he shuted up
this time i realli started crying
when he went away to order food
i alreadi ren the whole day
mum was tehre
i told her i ren heng jiu le
den she told me cry oso go home den cry
here cry when he comes i gonna get scolded again
alright i used tissue to wiped my tears
he came back i didnt faced his face although i suay suay sat beside him
wanted to change place wid mum
but haiz ltr he thought wad and i will get in deep sht again
on tad meal he gib scooping rice for me
[cuz he ordered claypot]
it was so obvious he knows im angry
and he tried to explian abt the sugarcan drink
saying wadeva got add lime and nvr add lime
i waas like saying inside stop ur crap
i hear nth
u think lidat i wun angry?
fat hope

when got home i sat at living's rm sofa and not to his rm
to watch tv wid him
he was asking why dun wan come up watch got aircon
i was murmuring saying cuz upstair got a bastard
u.
hasnt said ani word wid him since returned home
wells now every1 is asleep n im here
slping soon

wells no 1 will ever understand my plight here
sum may even tell me to close up the relationship
by starting the 1st step
i tried but nvr succeeded
perhaps u think im unfillial
scolding my dad all tad
but i believe unless u try to be in my shoes
you'll nvr understand how helpless i am
both my dad and the person i hate most


try being me and u'll understand.<br>

so i realised im nothing but a person u can scold as you like.
or be exact a sandbag.

sp
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