Wednesday, June 22, 2005
ok im here again....this will be a veri paranoid entry but im so happi cuz hab been plaein badminton 4 like at least 2 hrs lateli....i can still rmb the big cooler filled wid ribena being finish by the three of us haha...pt n wenn....=) i dun understand y can i be happi too...=)
hmmm.....i suddenli got alot of things to think abt....i oso dun understand y m i so paranoid n so sad durin the last band prac....perhaps its jus tad i miss sir's n sir's way of teachin us....=)and suddenli i dunno where i got the feelin frm which is i suddenli feel tad im not a gd senior....dun ask me y i think so....but i jus think i cant plae as wad a sec 3 senioir can....haiz........ok durin tad dae tuition i osos think im so lan in maths....m i tad hopeless??y can ppl understand simple formulas n me starin at the qn havin no clues on how to tackle the qn...........ok stupid me....paranoid me.....
ok i did slashes again........mad me....i dunno y i did tad to myself again.........im practicalli takin the sissors n madli scratchin it on my hand till it reali bleeds but true enuff tad does not hurt...cuz...............haiz....im realli mad liao........ok paranoid idiotic me.........makin frens angry again.....
m i thinkin too much or wad....sry but i suddenli realise i dun realli hab a certain grp of best buds.....is wenn pt yongen lily geena or those i usualli be wid my best frens??i dunt noe......every1 shld hab sum but r they mine???n the thing is if i regard them as will i be so xtra??will they regard me as 1 too??ok perhaps im not a worthy fren..........
ok im realli mad nowadaes i can jus cry widout ani reason n think of too much things which is not happening ard me....haiz.....
yesterdae theres sum1 commiting suicide on geena's block....wenn n i suddenli think we shld go tooo...but...theres a loud thud n shld be veri painful...n wen sae cute bung dun wanna be disfigured....=) -crazy sucidal ideas-
skul gonna reopen soon....askin myself wad hab i done??i hab no clues....back to the sch which will bring more madness to me...i dun wanna return back to there!!!
paranoid me.......will ani1 care if i die??