well..its teachers dae n im @ hme...actualli wanted to go watch face wid huiching n sum others but haiz...den im @ hme feelin bored n doin nth else but like watchin tv n doin hw...n revisin... haiz went to her blog again...i noe its my fault but its like i nvr wanted to be asl or sumthing or replacing her...im jus saein i wld prefer siru to her...i nvr even think of any hope of being sl n asl n i noe they r the most suitable ppl....well i noe its like no1 will blief me but its like shes oso puttin words into my mouth.....i nvr even sae im the best or wad....but well...its like i too wanna jus bang my head against the wall n even cry out loud...i noe its of no use cryin over spilt milk but haiz... shes rite now online...shld i jus tok to her n clarify things??or jus let it be...n i continue to not face the reality??i dun noe......well i jus think if i were reali to tok to her it will jus make her to hate me even more....i noe she hates me to core......wishin i can jus dissapear frm this planet earth...but haiz...shld i quit band??but i realli love plaein clar...n even if i quit where can i go??wad cca i can go to??well i dun no...streaming exams are jus cumin...shld i continue to think of these things or jus concentrate on my work n forget abt it...but well i cant possibly think nth has happened...n i oso noe they can take it as nth had happened too..but haiz...shld i tok to her or shld i not??can ani1 tell me??i noe 4 those i hab hurt im jus a hyprocrite..im jus an idiot...a arsehole...or even a bitch...but haiz......wads done its done...i dun expect much frm them but now tad i noe the truth...i jus wanna change...mayb when i reali change into another me den tad will be the tym they will accept me again...but shld i tok to her???i sent a email yesterdae...did she recieve it??or even she jus deleted it widout even lookin wads its contents??shld i tok to her rite now shes online??haiz........

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