God NEVER makes a mistake.

He can use imperfect parents (leaders) to bring the perfect work out in your life.

All leaders are ordained/chosen by God.

If only one could come to realise how insignificant we are before the creator of the entire universe, but yet how much significance we have in His eyes.

Unreasonable dad.

Random scoldings.

Crazy whipping.

Tearing eyes.

Utterly down.

Silently praying.

Since Saturday.

Just heard from a close friend of mine that her grandfather had passed away.

No answers. But still, i believe.

For God is faithful.

The Wemmicks were small wooden people.

Each of the wooden people was carved by a woodworker named Eli. His workshop sat on a hill overlooking their village.

Every Wemmick was different. Some had big noses, others had large eyes. Some were tall and others were short. Some wore hats, others wore coats. But all were made by the same carver and all lived in the village.

And all day, every day, the Wemmicks did the same thing: They gave each other stickers.

Each Wemmick had a box of golden star stickers and a box of gray dot stickers. Up and down the streets all over the city, people could be seen sticking stars or dots on one another. The pretty ones, those with smooth wood and fine paint, always got stars. But if the wood was rough or the paint chipped, the Wemmicks gave dots.

The talented ones got stars, too. Some could lift big sticks high above their heads or jump over tall boxes. Still others knew big words or could sing very pretty songs. Everyone gave them stars.

Some Wemmicks had stars all over them! Every time they got a star it made them feel so good that they did something else and got another star.

Others, though, could do little. They got dots.

Punchinello was one of these. He tried to jump high like the others, but he always fell. And when he fell, the others would gather around and give him dots.

Sometimes when he fell, it would scar his wood, so the people would give him more dots.

He would try to explain why he fell and say something silly, and the Wemmicks would give him more dots.

After a while he had so many dots that he didn't want to go outside. He was afraid he would do something dumb such as forget his hat or step in the water, and then people would give him another dot. In fact, he had so many gray dots that some people would come up and give him one without reason.

"He deserves lots of dots," the wooden people would agree with one another. "He's not a good wooden person."

After a while Punchinello believed them. "I'm not a good wemmick," he would say.

The few times he went outside, he hung around other Wemmicks who had a lot of dots. He felt better around them.

One day he met a Wemmick who was unlike any he'd ever met. She had no dots or stars. She was just wooden. Her name was Lulia.It wasn't that people didn't try to give her stickers; it's just that the stickers didn't stick. Some admired Lulia for having no dots, so they would run up and give her a star. But it would fall off. Some would look down on her for having no stars, so they would give her a dot. But it wouldn't stay either.

`That's the way I want to be,' thought Punchinello. `I don't want anyone's marks.' So he asked the stickerless Wemmick how she did it. "It's easy," Lulia replied. "every day I go see Eli."

"Eli?"

"Yes, Eli. The woodcarver. I sit in the workshop with him."

"Why?"

"Why don't you find out for yourself? Go up the hill. He's there." And with that the Wemmick with no marks turned and skipped away.

"But he won't want to see me!" Punchinello cried out. Lulia didn't hear. So Punchinello went home. He sat near a window and watched the wooden people as they scurried around giving each other stars and dots. "It's not right," he muttered to himself. And he resolved to go see Eli.

He walked up the narrow path to the top of the hill and stepped into the big shop. His wooden eyes widened at the size of everything. The stool was as tall as he was. He had to stretch on his tiptoes to see the top of the workbench. A hammer was as long as his arm. Punchinello swallowed hard. "I'm not staying here!" and he turned to leave.

Then he heard his name."Punchinello?" The voice was deep and strong.Punchinello stopped.

"Punchinello! How good to see you. Come and let me have a look at you."Punchinello turned slowly and looked at the large bearded craftsman. "You know my name?" the little Wemmick asked.

"Of course I do. I made you."

Eli stooped down and picked him up and set him on the bench. "Hmm," the maker spoke thoughtfully as he inspected the gray circles. "Looks like you've been given some bad marks."

"I didn't mean to, Eli. I really tried hard."

"Oh, you don't have to defend yourself to me, child. I don't care what the other Wemmicks think."

"You don't?"

"No, and you shouldn't either. Who are they to give stars or dots? They're Wemmicks just like you. What they think doesn't matter, Punchinello. All that matters is what I think. And I think you are pretty special."

Punchinello laughed. "Me, special? Why? I can't walk fast. I can't jump. My paint is peeling. Why do I matter to you?"

Eli looked at Punchinello, put his hands on those small wooden shoulders, and spoke very slowly. "Because you're mine. That's why you matter to me."

Punchinello had never had anyone look at him like this...much less his maker. He didn't know what to say. "Every day I've been hoping you'd come," Eli explained.

"I came because I met someone who had no marks."

"I know. She told me about you."

"Why don't the stickers stay on her?"

"Because she has decided that what I think is more important than what they think. The stickers only stick if you let them."

"What?"

"The stickers only stick if they matter to you. The more you trust my love, the less you care about the stickers."

"I'm not sure I understand."

"You will, but it will take time. You've got a lot of marks. For now, just come to see me every day and let me remind you how much I care."

Eli lifted Punchinello off the bench and set him on the ground.

"Remember," Eli said as the Wemmick walked out the door. "You are special because I made you. And I don't make mistakes."

Punchinello didn't stop, but in his heart he thought, "I think he really means it."

And when he did, a dot fell to the ground.

How long? How long more do you want to hold on to your past hurts, the bitterness in your heart? How long will you ever take to heal? And if only you can hear the Gospel, God's principles...

What's the point of wanting to take revenge over your miserable life? Wanting to let your daughter-in-laws suffer the same pain you had?

You said, "So i deserved what i suffered and that i had to let go?"

You want to get even. You want someone to go into the situation/through the pain you once faced in a phase of you life. Wells, that's human nature.

But if only you learn to forgive those people who offended you...... If only you stop holding on to the bitterness within your heart....If only..........

You can come to know Jesus.

Wells, He didn't deserve the torture, the cross, the death either....

When God sends you a package;a situation;a season that you don't necessarily want, can you still give double honour to that package, believing that God is able and that He will do what is right and continue to obey Him? Will you have the faith that Shadrach, Mesach and Abed-Nego had when Nebuchadnezzar threatened to put them in a burning fiery furnace?

Wells, Shadrach, Mesach and Abed-Nego believed that God is able to deliver them from the burning fiery furnace...but if not, (that God do not deliver them out of it and that they might suffer the pain of being tortured in the furnace till death) they still obeyed God and His words.

Hmm...they can actually get very disappointed/angry and eventually get offended with God if God didn't do what they expected Him to....which is to deliver them out of the furnace...

But they had such strong faith that God is good and He will do what is right. The total trust and loyalty they had on God...that even if God does not do what they expected Him to do, they will still obey Him.

Many a times, we constrain God; we 'box-up' God; we do not want to bear the pain;we expected God to do something, and hence disappointments come in, we get upset with God, we think God no longer love us...But wells, there's something i've learnt which is to trust God that in whatever situations He brings us through, He will see us through and that He will never lead us to the wrong path. And many a times when you think that you're in the valley and that God has left you there alone, beware! That's a lie! God has a divine plan for you and every situation, circumstances that occur in your life, He is there! (just the matter of you seeking Him) No situation will occur in your life in vain.

Looking for the silly evidences/traces to show that you are still here around us.

Even the silliest things around like the moving of the plant's leaves, the 2 spotted-dragonflies, the flowers....

Not logical, but.............

I miss you grandma.

It's been a week plus without you..but i still can't accept the truth that you're no longer with us. It just couldn't sink into me. Too difficult..................

Mama 我爱你

URH HURH. watch out, she's gonna blow!

Lol. yea lol.

But seriously that's my inner cry...

Hahs. wells. countdown to exams: 3days.

Isn't very much productive today..(yea like again?)

You know when some days you just don't feel okay..

cramps, the long 'to-do-list', emo emo and emo....

HAHS.

It seems as though the past A levels panic attacks, nightmares had long gone, disappeared..

But it does still have some scary memories yea?

I'm trying to stop feeling like the past, keep myself focused(yea trying) on my revision etc etc

But can't stop thinking 'what if' they come back again?

I don't wanna be having those crazy panic attacks again..

I don't wanna be going in and out of the toilet crying right before a paper...

Mind blank-ed before the exams...

I don't wanna be pinching and slapping myself...

I don't wanna be jumping up and down alone in the cubicle 'thinking' it might help my heart jump a little slower...

..................

................................

....................................

OKAYS.

Everything's gonna be okay.

I gonna trust in God.

That everything's in His Hands.

And I'll BE FINE.

No matter where i am, He'll still be right there!

For me!

COME ON..GOGO!

JIAYOUS!

如果有一天我变得更复杂...

If only growing up doesn't mean becoming more complicated...

Disappointments.

They're part & parcel of life.

Aren't they?

Wells, guess everyone's busy getting used to their new university lifestyle?

New people, new environment, new modules, new friendships?

Hahs while everyone's starting uni for only a few days..

It's kinda unbelievable that i've been in school for one month plus...

Submitted 1750-word organisational behaviour essay assessment and just finished an accounting mid term test today...and next week, a biz stats mid term....then biz computing report....group work etc etc..

Everything's so unbelievable, so surreal...

So... different already....

& Suddenly, people who once crossed my path in the past seems so distant right now.

Progressing different routes...different destinies...

School's fine, manageable, but somehow my past still terrors me abit here and there...

Guess Satan's job quite simple..

Leave me to think and just add abit of past failures, anxieties, worrying to my life and gotcha!

Im gone.

Back to square.

Useless me, isn't it?

As much as i struggle to let go, struggle to forget...owells..............

& did i mention i couldnt sleep through last night and there goes my crazy brain reminding me of the feelings i had, the stupid things i did during A's exams sending chills down my spine again...

Rahh. stop torturing yourself. Stop living in denial!!!! Face the truth!! @%&&%^%#Y^*^&#$@%^&

Stop it! Can you?!

Somehow the world is emphasing on competition...

As the saying goes..only the fittest, strongest, bravest survive,

No one is suppose to show their weakest side.

Everyone's gotta be strong...

Fight for success...

Is that really all?

Okay..somehow my mind's kinda gone right now.....

Havent been really able to adjust my sleep well these days.

It's always been sleep at 2plus, 3plus or even 5plus sometimes and waking up super late..etcetc

I need to go do some sports real fast before i end up in my own taf club...and hating myself even more..........ok nonsense. shutup. im gone...

I know that lately

Things have been so hard

And looking out

Through your broken heart

All you can see is dark

And lonely days ahead

But remember jesus said

When hope had disappeared

And you heart aches

You might not recognize

The touch of grace

But on the other side

Of every dying dream

His love is waiting patiently

Chorus

With every angel theres a love

That never leaves your side

His love is deeper than the ocean

Or a mountain highYouve got to know

Theres hope in your heart

And if you listen with your heart

I know youll hear him say

You are my child and I am with you

Each and everyday

He is the one who knows your soul

Chorus

'It's a pity you can't get into ntu or nus...cause you know tj's quite artahs~ eh..'---someone told me that.. Guess it's a matter of perspective again. Wells, if i'd hav scored well and gone to ntu or nus, i'd never have done any self-reflection probably. Never would i have experienced what God intended me to experience probably. Wells. wells. and i refuse to indulge in self-pitying business again.. Alright stop it.

Anyways, tell me what's the use of a car parking at my house's carpark and my driving licence when i can't drive the car? CAUSE IT'S A NEW CAR...RAHH. LOL. You know the feeling's worse than not having a licence? Daddy's overseas again.. wells. he's gonna be back on friday. Gotta ask him to bring me on the road to drive for the weekends. Promise.

I GOT MY DRIVING LICENCE! (: (:

Truly by God's grace and mercy.

Praise God!

It's a new season.

& it's amazing how God can pull you off the valley and poof*! there you are at the mountain top again!

'Why should i always praise God? Why is He keep wanting us to praise Him?'

These thoughts came to my mind before.

I didn't understand the purpose of worshiping God.

It's only after ltd camp that i've realised how important praising God was and the purpose of it.

God doesn't need your worship, He doesn't need your praise. It's for your sake.

When you learn to worship the one and only God, keeping your eyes on Him, your problems will become so insignificant as you realise how mighty and powerful a God you serve.

& now this verse has a greater meaning...

In Christ alone my hope is found;

He is my light, my strength, my song;

This cornerstone, this solid ground,

Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.

What heights of love, what depths of peace,

When fears are stilled, when strivings cease!

My comforter, my all in all—

Here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone, Who took on flesh,

Fullness of God in helpless babe!

This gift of love and righteousness,

Scorned by the ones He came to save.

Till on that cross as Jesus died,

The wrath of God was satisfied;

For ev'ry sin on Him was laid—

Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay,

Light of the world by darkness slain;

Then bursting forth in glorious day,

Up from the grave He rose again!

And as He stands in victory,

Sin's curse has lost its grip on me;

For I am His and He is mine—

Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death—

This is the pow'r of Christ in me;

From life's first cry to final breath,

Jesus commands my destiny.

No pow'r of hell, no scheme of man,

Can ever pluck me from His hand;

Till He returns or calls me home—

Here in the pow'r of Christ I'll stand.

Just wait

Desperately, helplessly, longingly I cried;

Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied

I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate...

And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? You say wait?" My indignant reply.

"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!"

Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?

By faith I have asked and I'm claiming Your Word.

My future and all to which I relate

Hangs in the balance and you tell me to wait?

I'm needing a 'Yes', a go ahead sign.

Or even a 'No' to which I'll resign.

You promised dear Lord, that if we believe,

We need but to ask, and we shall receive.

Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:

I'm weary of asking! I need a reply.

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate

As my Master replied again, "Wait"

So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,

And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting...for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine...

And He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.

I could shake the heavens and darken the sun

I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.

You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.

You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint.

You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;

You’'d not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.

You'd not know the joy of resting in Me

When darkness and silence are all you can see

You'd never experience the fullness of love,

When the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove.

You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,

But you'd not know the depth of the beat of my heart.

The glow of my comfort late into the night,

The faith that I give when you walk without sight;

The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask,

From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

You'd never know should your pain quickly flee

What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee

Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,

But oh, the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you

So be silent, my child, and in time you will see

That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me

And though often My answers seem terribly late

My most precious answer of all is still..."WAIT."